


Take Me Back

by adorkabledean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Characters to be added, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Dean Winchester, Chief of Police Dean Winchester, Co-workers, Crimes & Criminals, Death, FBI Agent Castiel (Supernatural), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Murder, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Police Officer Dean Winchester, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Trauma, a very dark fic with some very light moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:21:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26449204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adorkabledean/pseuds/adorkabledean
Summary: Dean Winchester is the local Detroit Chief of Police working on one of the most bizarre cases Detroit has ever had. While navigating through evidence he finds out he has to work with the FBI where he meets Special Agent Novak. A very intriguing man with a lot of secrets. What do these secrets hold and will Dean get to the bottom of this case?
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 40
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> again? yeah i know. But anyway i was kind of contemplaining wheter or not to post it but at the end said screw it so here it is. This is going to be my first fic with chapters and fingers crossed i don't give up on it. Enough talking now i hope you enjoy the first chapter. Also i'm sorry for any mistakes there might be :]

_The room was filled with darkness. The only vision he had was to how far his eyes let him see. His heart was racing, his skin felt like it hurt and he had this awful feeling in the pit of his stomach. His ears were buzzing but somehow he could hear his own heartbeat echoing inside of his skull. The room smelled like a rotting animal and Dean felt scared. He looked around slowly and what he saw scared him even more. The walls of the room were splattered with blood and Dean could feel his whole body shake. He looked down to find himself on his knees. He brought his hands on the field of his vision and they were covered in blood. Was it his? He started feeling his body, hands desperately trying to find the cause of the red liquid. Shock overwhelmed him when he couldn’t find anything. His ears started buzzing even more, louder and louder with every second passing by. He covered his head and started to scre-._

Dean was suddenly shifted to his bed. He looked on his right only to find his alarm had been ringing for God knows how long. He stretched across to turn it off and that was when it hit him. The room. The blood. The feeling in his stomach. What was this awful nightmare? Has Dean finally gone crazy because of his job? His whole body was full of sweat so he needed to take a shower as fast as possible. He got up and headed towards the bathroom.

He turned on the faucet and let the cold water hit his skin. The contrast between his hot body and the cold droplets felt so refreshing. Not only that but he felt like he needed to wash away the blood from his dream even though it was never actually on him. He wasn’t disgusted by it just in fact quite the opposite. He loved helping people and bringing people to justice. That’s why he became a police chief. But maybe the case they’d been working on for a week now has started to get over him.

When he finished showering he went to check on his phone and found a message from his assistant Benny.

> **7:11am** hey
> 
> **7:11am** can you hurry up to the department?
> 
> **7:12am** we need to talk about the case
> 
> _Seen_

There was no point replying to him so he just put on his uniform, grabbed the sandwich he had made himself the night before and headed to work.

He parked his impala on the usual place. It was nice being the chief because no one else dared to park where he parks so his favorite spot was always free. Plus he had warned everybody not to touch his car because he absolutely loved it and if anything happened to her he wouldn’t survive it. I mean how can he not love it? The color, the sound of the engine, the nice leather seats, the way his classic rock music sounded from the speaker. Not to forget the most important part that it was a gift from his dad. His dad’s first car and later on Dean’s first. So yes he had the right to be really mad if someone touched her.

“Good morning, sir.” Jo agreed him with a smile when he entered the building. She was one of the people who Dean had known for the longest and despite their long friendship she was always formal with him when they were working and she was one of the few who made Dean genuinely smile.

“Morning Jo.” he returned the smile. “Hey, uh, have you seen Benny? He said he needs to talk to me about that case.”

“Um, yeah, you just missed him. He didn’t say where he was going though. What’s up with the case anyway?”

Dean shrugged in frustration. “Nothing new as far as I know. The same old dead end we’ve been stuck on for a day.”

“Hey chief.” Daniel passed behind him.

“Sup Dan.” Dean looked above his shoulder and greeted him back.

“But yeah I have no idea what new information Benny has, so let’s hope it’s good.” knowing Benny and how he delivers information he doubted it could be good but he could at least hope. “Anyway I haven’t had breakfast yet, so I’m going in my office.” he could feel his stomach rambling.

“Yeah of course”

The moment he sat on his chair desk he knew this was going to be a long day. He pinched the bridge of his nose and opened up the case file. Before he could go through it again, he needed some protein in his body so he opened his sandwich and took a bite.

 _The Dollmaker_ case, was what they called it, was one of the most bizarre cases Detroit has ever had. A group of teenage kids had been camping when they decided to explore and found an abandoned house. Inside one of the rooms they found a man laying on a table in the center of the room, fully clothed. If it wasn’t for the smell they’d think it was just a homeless person. When police arrived they were to find that it was actually a decomposing body with the cause of death being a slipped throat. But the most interesting part was that after the autopsy they discovered the man had no organs. Instead he had been filled with cotton, his organs nowhere to be found except for the heart. No weapon at the crime scene, no blood. This was clearly a mastermind’s doing, to leave no evidence and to be so precise. A sick mastermind.

“What am I missing..?” Dean said moving his head in denial. His mind drifted away when he heard a knock on his door. “Come in.”

“Hey chief.” Benny greeted him and sat on the chair across Dean.

“Where the hell where you? And please tell me it’s good news.”

“Actually it’s two news. And I went to grab these.” Benny put some new folder on Dean’s desk with a seal SOLVED on top of it. “So... I found out that there was actually a similar case like ours back in the 90’s. In 1997 to be exact, a body of a woman was found near a river with a strangulation signs on her throat and no organs inside her.” He looked up at Dean to check if he was listening. Dean shot his eyebrows up to hint Benny to continue. “After her the killer had 5 more victims, only women, making this a serial killer case. He was later captured and sent to prison for life but a year after that he committed suicide and passed away in the hospital.” Benny stopped for a minute to look at his chief again and catch his breath from what he just read. “Pretty bizarre right? I’m thinking this is a copycat? Some sick fuck that has this person as an idol or some shit.”

“Wait, wait slow down.” Dean gestured his hand in a stop motion between them. “How did you find all this?” he asked clearly surprised by all the work Benny has put in.

“Well I did some research at the library, looked up the history of the Detroit Police Department online and glued the stuff together.” he looked pretty proud of himself. As he rightfully should be. There was a reason he was the chief assistant and a reason Dean picked him as such.

“Damn, Benny… I gotta admit that is a lot. I mean it puts a totally different perspective on the case.” Dean took the folder to see for himself and check it later as well. “Mind if I hold on to that?”

“You really asking me? You are the chief, boss.” Benny gave out a chuckle and Dean did the same. “Oh yeah don’t let me forget the other thing. You probably won’t like this.” there goes the bad news Dean really didn’t want to hear right now.

“Just shoot.”

“The uh… The FBI are stepping up.” the room was filled with silence after that for what seemed like minutes.

“What? What does the FBI want with this case? Don’t they have enough on their plate to start jumping in on our case?” he could feel his palms starting to sweat again and he started feeling anxious. He was angry and you could tell by his voice and change of tone. He really didn’t like when people were questioning his motives for his work and the FBI were just these kind of guys.

“No idea. You know how they are so I’m not even surprised. But yeah the head of their criminal investigations should come soon to talk to you. I was told 10am but who knows when he will arrive.” checking the clock Dean saw he had a bit of time to relax and think about everything Benny just told him.

“Alright Benny, thank you.” Dean nodded and Benny left the room, leaving his chief alone with his thoughts. It was hard to process all this. The new information about the case, the FB-fucking-I. Dean hated working with people outside of his own department. And now he had to share every bit of information he got with the them. He opened up the old case file to check some stuff again. The two cases were very similar but also very different in their own way. But it does make it a hell of a lot easier to navigate through evidence. At least they have an idea of what they are looking for even if it’s not 100% it.

In the old case the victim was a woman and now they had a man. The cause of death was strangulation and just as their case the victim had no organs but nothing else inside of her either. Maybe some sick fuck really did get inspired and twisted it to his own way.

He took out his phone from his phone pocket and opened up the text history with his brother Sam. They had scheduled to meet tonight but since Sam was a doctor he never knew when he was free. He could be free one minute and then the next he could be called for a shift at the hospital.

> **9:24am** the thing tonight at jimmy’s bar still stands?
> 
> _Delivered_

Him and Sam were really close. Even since they were little, they were always together and Sam never wanted to leave Dean’s side. He was like a mentor to Sam especially after the incident with their parents. Dean hated thinking about it but he also didn’t want to really forget what happened. It was a different feeling he had. It’s like you want to get rid of something but at the same time you don’t because you’ve just been too attached to it, it has impacted your life too much that if you lose it you might leave a hole in your soul. He used to park his car in the middle of nowhere and just look up at the sky, breathe in the air and just forget about the world for a little bit. It reminded him of this one night with his dad.

_“Dean, hold the wheel with BOTH hands.” the car was slowly moving on the road, the soft light from the moon was blooming through the windows of the impala. The stars in the sky were bright and you could clearly see every astrology sign. John was looking at his son and he could tell how well this car suit him._

_Dean looked over his shoulder to look at his dad and he put on that ‘I know what I’m doing’ kind of smirk. “Dad, I got it, okay. Don’t stress it.” he turned the car right and parked it near the edge of the cliff._

_John started jokingly pinching himself. “Am I alieve? Did we make it?” he said and started laughing. He was really that kind of dad, huh._

_Dean shot his eyes at him and chuckled. “Shut up.” He looked in front of him for a brief moment. He opened up the door of the car and stepped outside. His dad did the same._

_“It’s so nice out.” Dean was admiring the night sky, while he was sitting down on the hood of the car. “If Sam was here he would’ve loved this view.”_

_“He would.” said John and handed his son a bottle of beer, which he looked a bit surprised by the fact. “What? Don’t tell me you’ve never had a beer before.” he sat next to the boy. “I will drive back if that’s what you are worried about.”_

_It wasn’t that. It was that Dean had never drank in front of his dad before. Not that he really drinks, just the occasional beer with his friends when they hang out. And a beer really wasn’t that much but it was still a first timer. He looked a bit hesitant but took the beer anyway. “Dad, I’m 16. Of course I’ve had a beer before.”_

_John let out a chuckle and they both stopped for a moment to admire what was in front of them. The stars, the moon, Detroit lit up. The fireflies flying around made it even prettier. It wasn’t hot, it wasn’t cold, it was just the perfect weather, the perfect time, like it was all meant to be._

_“How was at Noah’s house last night.” John finally broke the silence but Dean was afraid of exactly this conversation. He never mentioned to his dad that he likes guys as well and he was scared of how he would react. He tensed up and looked down at his feet._

_“It was… It was good.” he replied and took a sip of his beer. He drew in a long breath and tugged slightly at his sweatshirt. He felt his heart rate quicken._

_“Yeah? What did you guys do?”_

_How was Dean supposed to reply to that? He felt like every answer he was going to give was going to be a wrong one and get him in trouble._

_“You know… just..” He frowned and shook his head. “Just watched a movie and played some video games.” he took another sip of his beer. And another._

_“You do like him though, right?” John was looking up at the sky this time and he had this slight smile on his face. Dean turned to look at him, eyebrows clenched. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t sense anger nor disappointment in his dad’s voice._

_“I’m not blind, Dean.” John said finally looking at his son. “I know you. And I know if I didn’t bring it up at some point you would never tell me. And I hated seeing you so tensed up all the time, like… like you needed to hide from me, from your mom. You don’t.” he sounded so calm Dean almost couldn’t believe it. He could feel his eyes filling up with tears. He pinched the bridge of his nose, nodded slightly and smiled._

_“Thanks, dad.”_

Dean’s phone lit up with a notification from Sam.

> **10:10am** It stands. For now.
> 
> _Seen_

Just as he was about to put his phone on the desk, there was a knock on his door.

“Yes?” he looked up to see Jo opening the door.

“Special agent Novak is here to see you. Should I send him in?” Dean had almost forgot about the FBI agent. He rolled his eyes and nodded.

Not even a minute later a man walked in in Dean’s office. His eyes shot up and the man he saw surprised him. He was dressed all black, a black trench coat with the FBI logo in front of it. He had dark hair and blue eyes, full pulp lips and he had some kind of burned scar on the left side of his neck. He was like a dark prince out of a movie and Dean definitely did not expect him to look like that.

“Hello, Mr.Wincheser. I’m special agent Castiel Novak and I’m here to discuss some things about _The Dollmaker_ case.” Dean looked at him kind of shocked. The voice that came out of that man was not expected. It was so deep Dean felt like he could get lost in it. He licked his lips and stood up to shake the agent’s hand.

“You can call me Dean. And yeah why did you guys decide to take this case? I do admit it’s a pretty bizarre one but…”

“We have our reasons. You don’t need to worry about that.” He looked angry but at the same time the way he talked was different. “We just want the case solved as much as you do.”

Just like Dean thought this guy was full of himself. Dean was expected to say every little detail he knows about the case to him and yet he wasn’t going to get any information from him in return. He bit his lip and nodded. Looks really do trick the eyes.

He was starting to get annoyed at him already. He clenched his teeth and replied. “Yeah… Whatever you say.”

He took the case file and handed it to Castiel.

“You can take a look at it, uh… I got some new information today about a case back in the 90’s that was pretty similar to this one so we think it might be a copycat.”

Castiel was looking at the files with narrowed eyes and a little tilt to his head. He was reading it carefully so Dean took the opportunity to take a better look at him. He would assume he was the same age as him. He had visibly dark circles under his eyes. Like he hadn’t been sleeping for two days. The scar on his neck was pretty big and Dean wondered if he got it during his job. It looked old so it might have been from something else as well. He rubbed the side of his own neck, almost like an instinct.

“And the new information?” asked Novak and Dean handed him the folder. He took it kind of hesitantly and it was like he didn’t want to open it and was waiting for Dean to give him more information. “Mind if I make copies of these and bring them back later?”

Dean looked over at the clock “Uh…” he felt like he needed a bit of a break today anyway since he had been looking at these files non stop for the past week and he needed to fresh his mind out. “Sure.”

Novak took the two folders and licked his lips. “Thank you.” He looked around like he was examining Dean’s office. “If you find something else, give me a call please.”

Dean looked at him for a second but then replied “Sure.” and Castiel was about to leave when Dean remembered he doesn’t actually have his phone number. “Hey, um agent? A phone number would be nice.”

“Oh. Right.” replied the agent as he was searching through his pockets. He pulled out his phone and they exchanged numbers. “Oh and you can call me Cas.” and with that Dean’s office door was closed.

He still didn’t know what to make up from this guy. He was mysterious, quiet, he gave off the vibe of a dark knight and he was… handsome. Still kind of an asshole though. But it was like he put a little fly in Dean’s mind just to put him at ease.

* * *

The rest of the day went by pretty normal. There were the usual cases of vandalism but nothing too serious to have Dean alarmed. He was laying on his couch when he checked the time. He had 15 minutes left until the meet with Sam and he lived fairly close to Jimmy’s bar so he didn’t need to take the impala. He put on his flannel and headed towards the bar.

When he arrived his brother was already waiting for him at one of the tables. They haven’t seen each other since Dean started working on the case. He smiled softly and approached him.

“Heya, Sammy.” said Dean as he sat across the table from Sam.

“Hey, Dean. How you’ve been? How is the case going?” even though Sam wasn’t really the case solving type of guy he has helped Dean multiple times. Either with a quick research or just basic knowledge. And he was genuinely interested in his brothers’ cases.

Dean sighed in frustration and leaned back. “I don’t even know man. We kind of got an opening today which is good.” he scratched his facial hair. “Benny found some pretty interesting things.”

Sam chuckled and took his cup of tea. “Well that’s good, right?” he took a sip of it.

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean paused for a second and drew in a breath. “But the FBI got on the case as well. And they have some asshole as a boss and he managed to annoy me in the 5 minutes we talked.” he said angrily and looked outside the window. “But enough about me, what about you? Work okay? Eileen okay?”

“Work is… work. I was night shift 3 days in a row and today I was morning so, yeah.” he took another sip of his tea. “And me and Eileen are good, yeah.”

Dean was really glad to hear that. Him and Eileen have been together for a year and she has made a really big impact on Sam’s life. Ever since he met her he’s been more cheerful. Happier.

“Do you want something to drink?” Sammy asked and he made a sign with his hand for the waitress.

“Uh, yeah. I could definitely use a drunk right now.” him and Sam shared a smile but suddenly Dean’s phone rang. He picked it up.

“Chief of police, I’m listening.” he narrowed his eyes and so did Sam.

“Sir, we just got a report for a dead body at Westwood Park.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for coming to read chapter two!  
> again i'm sorry if there are any mistakes :]

**10:23PM**. Westwood Park was one of the neighborhoods with the most abandoned houses in percentage. Right now it was one of the most active areas in Detroit. There were police cars everywhere and officers roaming around with their flashlights, looking for any kind of evidence. The sound of ruffling tree branches and the sightings of torn down houses only added to the chilling scene.

The house where the victim was had tape ‘CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS’ all around it. Everyone that was there was busy with something. Some police officers had their notebooks out and were taking notes, some of them were taking pictures of everything they found suspicious. Dean looked around and something, more specifically someone, caught his eye. Agent Novak. What was it about that man that make Dean feel the way he feels right now? When Dean saw him he felt his heart quickened for a second and then normalized its speed again. He felt the urge to lick his lips and tuck at his sleeve. The fact that this man had that effect on him was scaring Dean a little bit. Yes he was attractive but he was a bit weird. He didn’t share much and he was mysterious. The kind of mysterious you don’t want to fuck around with. But maybe that’s what dragged Dean more towards him?

Cas was taking notes in his notebook when Dean approached him. “What’s the verdict?” he asked and stopped beside him.

Cas’ eyes shot up to his and Dean almost got lost in them. “I haven’t seen the body yet.”

Dean nodded slowly and made a ‘let’s go’ motion with his head. “What are we waiting for then?”

When they entered the house it was the exact same scene as a week ago. The smell of old furniture and mold on the walls was even stronger than the body. It was normal though since the body had no organs and it was cleaned like it was made to be a doll. Charlie was examining it when she saw Dean and Cas walking in.

“Hey chief. Agent.” she greeted them and they both nodded.

“What do u got Charlie?” Dean asked and looked down to see if he had a cut mark on his neck. And he did. He felt Cas looking away like he was about to throw up but didn’t say anything.

“So as you probably already saw, he was killed the same way as the first victim. He is sewed in the middle of his rib cages..” she gestured the marks “and I’d assume he has no organs again. The killer this time though was kind enough to leave us his ID so we don’t have to take samples of his fingerprints now.” She took it out of his pocket and handed it to Dean “The victim’s name is Andrew Carson. 34, unemployed.” Dean took a look at the ID.

“I assume no other evidences around?”

“As far as I know, no. Considering he killed him somewhere else and just moved the body here there is not much evidence he can leave. You have to ask Bradley though, they are searching for any car traces or anything like that outside.”

“When was he killed exactly?” Castiel asked and Dean turned his gaze at him for a brief moment.

Charlie drew in a long breath and shook her head “I’d say… 12 hours at least. Maybe more.”

They both nodded and Cas took out his notebook. He turned some pages and Dean allowed himself to take a little look. He didn’t want to intrude or anything, he was just a bit curious. Okay, a lot curious. At the first pages there were some kind of drawings. He couldn’t see very well, couldn’t make out the shape or what they were exactly, but they looked good. The other pages had something written on it, which Dean assumed was about the investigation.

Cas saw him looking and when he looked away again he had this slight smirk on his face that made Dean’s palms sweat. Or was he just imagining it? He had never seen the guy smile before and this wasn’t even a smile he just had the corner of his lips up a little bit.

“How about we go check if the others have found anything?” Castiel asked and put his notebook back in his pocket.

Dean looked out the broken window and saw the many flashlights roaming around. He started nodding. “Sure.”

In the past 40 minutes they were all looking for something, literally anything, that can be considered as a clue. Unfortunately they found nothing. Just pieces of old metal, some dolls and graffiti in the houses. In one of them there was some kind of circle on the floor with weird letters all around it and candles. What were kids these days up to? There is enough evil in the world, they don’t have to try and bring out more. Not that Dean believed in any of that shit. Okay, maybe just some of them.

All he wanted now though was to go home, go in his bed and fall asleep. They were pretty much done already and half of the crew had already gone home or got back to the Department. He was talking to Benny, explaining him everything he knew about tonight. Just as Benny was getting ready to leave, Cas approached them.

“Hey, I’m gonna head off.”

Dean looked at him and made a ‘wait a second’ gesture with his hand.

“Okay, Benny that’s all I think. I will see you in the morning, yea?”

Benny smiled at him and entered his car. “You got it, chief.” and the sound of the engine echoed in the distance.

Dean looked back at Cas and stopped to think for a second. He wanted to get to know the guy more and he wanted their work to flow smoothly, so maybe bed could wait.

“Hey, Cas I know you are tired but how about we go for a drink, release some tension from…” he looked around and gestured with his hands “all of this.” He let out a long breath and put his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

Castiel was looking at him with this empty gaze, like he was looking directly through him. Did he seem weird? He didn’t want to sound awkward and he wasn’t trying to make this a date, he just wanted a drink right now. Plus, two is better than one.

Cas seemed to really think about it which was taking too much time and it was starting to get on Dean’s nerves. Just when he was about to say ‘forget it’ Castiel started talking.

“Uh… sure.” he slowly moved his head around and licked his lips. “I don’t have a car though.”

Dean started blinking repeatedly at him. “You walked here?” he asked in a surprised tone.

Castiel shrugged “I… like walking.”

Okay either this guy was crazy or… no. He was crazy. Dean shook his head and started walking.

“All right well, we can take my car.”

* * *

The ride was pretty much quiet except the occasional awkward coughs Dean gave out. He wanted to keep the conversations for when they got to the bar and it seemed like Castiel didn’t want to say anything either.

As they were about to sit Castiel took off his black trench coat and put it on a hanger beside the table, which left him only in his black shirt. And God was that attractive to Dean. He freezed and his gaze traveled across Cas’ whole body. The way the shirt hugged his muscles, the way it was tucked in his jeans drove Dean crazy. He needed to remind himself he had to keep this professional otherwise it was over for him. But it was so hard with this man. He licked his lips and sat across him.

He was still very bluntly staring at him, like he tried to remember every little detail. He didn’t know what to say either so the situation got even more awkward. His eyes traced down to Cas’ neck. He didn’t like staring at his mark because Cas would probably think he was judging him which wasn’t like that at all. He was just curious about it. And it looked hot on him.

“It does catch the eye doesn’t it.” Castiel finally interrupted Dean’s thoughts. And he wasn’t even looking at him, he was looking out the window, which caught Dean off guard.

“What? No, I-I’m sorry.”

Fuck. He felt his heart pick up its pace again. He wanted to leave that room as soon as possible. He didn’t want to make Cas uncomfortable and definitely not with this.

Cas’ eyes finally shot up at Dean’s. “Don’t be. I used to stare at it a lot too.”

Dean felt relieved. He thought he was done for. He thought Cas would snap and get really angry at him. But he didn’t. Which was… weird? Good? Bad? Dean didn’t know what to make out of it yet. Does he ask more questions about it? Does he drop it here?

He nodded slowly, never leaving Castiels’ eyes. “Was it… recent?”

Cas drew in a long breath and looked out the window again. “No.”

That strong no echoed inside Dean’s head. It was like Cas was embarrassed by it. Like he wanted to hide it so bad but he couldn’t. Dean didn’t know what to reply again until the waitress came and saved him. They both ordered their things and Dean decided to change the subject.

“So… for how long have you been in the FBI?”

Cas thought about it for a second. “Ah… 10 years.”

That was one year more than Dean. He smiled and let out a chuckle.

“A senior huh.”

Cas squinted his eyes and tilted his head slightly. “Did you just call me old?”

He looked serious so Dean couldn’t catch if he was joking or not. Was he trying to annoy him or something?

“I’m pretty sure we are the same age, dude.” When he said that Dean’s leg accidently bumped into Castiel’s and they shared a look. Cas swallowed slowly and Dean watched his adam’s apple go up and down his throat. What were this guy’s intentions? It was confusing Dean to the core. He closed his eyes and looked away.

“Here are your drinks.” said the waitress and put them down on the table.

“Thank you.” they both said and took their drinks.

Castiel took a sip of his bourbon and then asked “Why did you decide to become a police officer?”

Dean tensed up a little bit. Pretty much everyone at the Department knew why he decided to become an officer. He wasn’t afraid to tell the story it just brought back bad memories. He smiled painfully.

“I uh… lost my parents when I was 19.” he was looking down at his whiskey and playing with the glass. “Shot. In their own fucking home.” he felt his eyes starting to fill up with water. He took his glass “They never found the killer.” and took a sip out of it.

Castiel didn’t want to interrupt him so he didn’t say anything.

“My dad was the mayor so it made sense. A lot of people hated him. Ever since then I had to take care of my little brother. I found some mediocre job so at least we had some cash.” he tucked at his jacket sleeve and took another sip. “But then I was so angry and I was trying to find out who the killer was. I couldn’t, of course.” Dean let out a laugh. “And that’s how I decided I wanted to become a police officer. Long story short. If I couldn’t help my parents, at least help other people.”

Cas looked like he had some tears in his own eyes but he never took his gaze off of Dean.

“Jeez Dean I-… I’m so sorry.”

Dean felt Cas’ pain through his voice and through his expression. He could tell Cas has been through some stuff as well even if he didn’t want to share them with Dean yet. Maybe that’s why he was so distant at the beginning. Maybe he is still getting over something, just like Dean. He understood him and he felt warmness from him which was part of the reason he just told him about his parents. When he was younger his mind would always take him back at that place. The memory of what it once was and what he will never have again. He felt how he was dragging himself more and more in the though so he shook out of it and took another sip.

“I’m sorry too, Cas.”

With that Cas looked down and smiled softly. Now that was a smile. Even if it was for a brief moment, Dean saw it. And he felt this joy rush through him, he was happy that he made Cas smile. He smiled softly as well and looked at Castiel’s lips.

“It suits you.” he said and Cas looked up at him, confused. “Smiling.” Dean continued.

They were looking at each other with a gaze softer than a feather. When Cas looked away at the window he smiled again.

“You uh…” the agent cleared his throat “said you have a brother?”

Dean smiled and took his glass again. “Yeah… Sammy.”

Castiel nodded and took a sip out of his drink. “How old is he?”

“Well he is 4 years younger than me, so he is 33. Gosh that… made me feel old now.” he laughed and took another sip of his whiskey.

“You get along well?” Cas asked and started shaking his leg.

“Oh yeah. I was just with him before they called us in.”

Castiel started nodding slowly and downed the rest of his bourbon. “I… think I will go home.”

Dean could feel he tensed up. “Wait, are you okay? he almost couldn’t catch when Cas was already up and putting on his coat. He noticed he had one of his hands in a fist.

“Yeah, I just…” Cas closed his eyes and drew in a long breath. “Need a rest.”

Dean got up as well and started zipping his jacket. “Let me drive you at leas-“

“No.” Cas looked him directly in the eyes but then a second later softened and looked away. “I will walk.”

And with that he left Dean in the bar, who wondered what he did wrong for Cas to just get up and leave like that. One second everything was fine and then he suddenly changed. His voice of tone, his expressions. Maybe he really just needed a rest. Dean looked at his phone and decided it’s time for him to go home as well.

* * *

 **Tuesday, 7:34AM.** Dean was already drinking his morning coffee in the office. The sun through his blinds peeked in slightly, making his hair look golden from the front. He was checking all the local stores you can buy cotton from on his computer. That’s what his aim was for today. Go to every single one and find out if someone bought an unexpectedly amount of cotton in the recent week. Oh and also check the victim’s address. At least they had one now. There is no way the killer just forgot to take his ID out of the pocket so there must be something in there worth taking a look at. Dean took his cup of coffee but saw it was already empty. He was nowhere near satisfied so he got up to take another one from the main office.

As he was filling his cup he saw Castiel walking up to his office. He quickly grabbed his coffee and caught up to him. When he got in front of him he saw his left palm had a bandage around it. He had these dark circles under his eyes and it looked like he hadn’t slept all night.

Dean got worried and tried to get closer to him and take a look at his arm. “Hey Cas, are you okay? What happened?” before he could do anything though Cas took a step back and lifted his hand up.

“I’m…fine.”

Dean didn’t know what else to say so he was just looking at him. He wanted to know more but he also didn’t want to make Cas uncomfortable. Cas was about to say something when Benny came and got ahead of him.

“What are you waiting for boys? Let’s get to work.”

Dean didn’t take his eyes off of Castiel the whole time Benny talked. When Cas finally looked up and met Dean’s eyes, he opened his office door and they all took their places in the chairs.

The chief explained to them what work they had to be done with for today. Doing so he couldn’t help but track his gaze at Castiel every minute. The agent though looked like he couldn’t even look at Dean. He was either looking down at his hands or the files in front of him.

Benny took the file with all the addresses of the stores Dean just printed. “Okay so I take Novak, go to the stores, and you go to the victim’s house?”

Dean was looking at both of them and deciding what to actually do. Was it better for Benny to go with Cas, or him? Benny was quite a ‘straight forward’ kind of guy. If he wanted to say something, good or bad, he would say it without second guessing. Which sometimes was okay. But most of the times it wasn’t. Dean has gotten used to it but if he was alone with Cas…

“Cas can you wait outside, please?” he looked at him but Cas didn’t say anything and just left.

When he closed the door Dean leaned back on his chair and let out a sigh.

“I will take Novak with me. You take the stores.”

“Wait… alone?” Benny pointed the list. “All these?”

Dean started taking his gun and badge. “No. Take Zeke with you.”

Benny made an unpleasing sound but when Dean looked him in the eyes he shut up and nodded. Dean drank what was left of his coffee and they both went into the main office. Castiel was sitting at one of the benches, his notebook in his hands.

As Dean was taking out his car keys he stopped in front of him. “Come on, let’s go.”

He started the engine and was looking for some of his cassette tapes to put on.

“I thought I was gonna go with Benny.”

Dean felt his eyes on him but continued to search for a tape, ignoring Cas. He felt kind of annoyed by the way Cas was acting. Yes he didn’t want to pressure him but at the same time he wanted to know if he was the reason Castiel was like that today. When finally found the one he wanted he looked over his shoulder and at Cas who was still looking at him.

“You don’t want to work with me that much, huh?” he left out a chuckle but Cas stayed serious and looked out the window without saying anything. Dean’s eyes focused for a brief moment on the agent’s scar again. He licked his lips and put the cassette tape in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all i'm sorry for the lack of chapter last week and i'm also sorry that this one is so short! i started uni last week so my mind is still occpied with that stuff but i also didn't want to not post this week as well. so uh i hope you enjoy this messy chapter and i promise to make it up to y'all soon

“Is that it?”

The car was now parked, both of them looking to their right at the somewhat big house that was placed there. The neighborhood that they were in wasn’t one of the ‘rich’ ones, but it sure had some nice houses. There were people walking their dogs, kids playing on the streets and in the front yards of people’s homes. It looked very peacefully. Almost too much.

Dean narrowed his eyes and looked back at the ID card. “Yeah.”

They knocked a couple of times but it was obvious no one was going to open the door. Dean tried looking through the windows but the curtains were too thick to see anything. They decided to go around the house and maybe enter through the back door.

Dean had his gun out just in case while Castiel tried to get the back door open. The house looked normal, cared for. The grass looked like it had been cut not long ago, the back yard had a hammock swing attached to one of the trees, barbeque not too far from it and a little table with a book and some papers on it. It looked really nice and if it wasn’t for the reason that they were there, Dean would think someone would come out of the front door with tea and biscuits in their hands.

When Castiel finally opened the door it let them to a small corridor which then let to the kitchen. Dean lowered his gun since it looked like the house really was empty. Everything seemed like a completely normal home and Dean was starting to wonder why the hell would the killer leave the ID if there was nothing here?

“How about you go check the living room? I will roam around here. See if there’s anything suspicious.”

“Sure.” Cas nodded and headed towards the big living room. He was still as quiet as before. The whole ride to here he didn’t say a word nor complaint about Dean’s music like every other person that gets in his car. And the bandage around his palm? He was fine the day before so it must’ve happened during the night or early in the morning. Either way why was Dean so concerned about it? It was probably nothing and he was just overthinking it.

He started looking through the shelves and drawers of the kitchen, but it was just like a normal kitchen. The drawers were full of forks, spoons, knives. The shelves with plates and bowls. He didn’t know why but it reminded him of the days when him and Sam would surprise their parents when they were coming from work with a pre-made table and meal. How Dean would cook and Sam would get the table ready, putting the everything neatly on the table. He missed those days. He lived alone now and he didn’t even feel the need to put the table for himself. He would just warm up some already made pizza in the oven, put it in a plate and eat in front of his computer. When there wasn’t someone else to do those things for, Dean felt like he didn’t need them himself. He drew in a long breath and let it out in frustration.

He headed towards the living room and found Cas looking at something on the table. When he approached him he saw it was a book.

“Alice in Wonderland?” he said and smiled slightly.

Castiel looked like he was lost in his thoughts and didn’t even hear him. Dean looked down at his arms and narrowed his eyes when he saw Cas had his right thumb over his already bruised palm, forcing down on it.

“Cas?”

He had no response again so Dean put his arm on his shoulder and said his name again, louder this time. The agent started blinking and looked down on his hands, a bloody stain forming on his bandage. He dropped his arms to his sides and shook his head. Dean was searching for his face when he asked him if he was okay. Cas started nodding.

“Yeah… I- sorry.”

“Are you sure? You seemed pretty out of it.”

“I said I’m fine.”

If it wasn’t for Cas nudging Dean’s arm off of his shoulder he would’ve totally forgotten it’s there. Cas didn’t sound mad or angry, it was more like he was upset or tired. Like he didn’t want to tell Dean what’s up because he didn’t want to burden him with it. Dean opened his mouth to say something else but closed it immediately. He didn’t want to make Cas any more upset than he already was. Instead he just nodded and tongued the inside of his cheek.

“There’s nothing here.” said Castiel while looking at the book again.

Dean started walking to check the living room out himself and confirmed there was nothing there that they could take as evidence. They decided to search the rest of the house which was the bedroom and the bathroom but had no succeed in that too. It looked like the man lived on his own since there were no family pictures or anything else that could indicate he had a family. Which was weird. Who doesn’t have at least one picture of their family hanging around somewhere? 

Dean got frustrated and threw his arms up in defeat.

“Well that was a waste of our time. Why the hell would he send us here?”

Castiel shrugged. “To play with us. Or draw the attention away from something else.”

Dean looked at him with the corner of his eye. What he said made sense but draw attention from where? Why would the killer want them in this house? Or maybe he was just sick and really did want to just toy with them.

“How about we question some people? Ask around, see if they know anything.” Dean suggested and Cas nodded in agreement. They decided to split the houses in streets. Dean took the one they were on and Cas the one across.

Every house Dean went to told the same story. Andrew was a good neighbor, never causing any trouble and just a friendly person overall. They didn’t know anything about his family or any enemies he might have that could’ve done this. He was almost done with the houses when he saw there was one left. It looked kind of abandoned, but at the same time not really. Definitely different than the rest of them. Something in his guts told him to take his gun out as he approached the front door, which was wide open. He stepped in slowly, looking carefully around the room. The house didn’t have any furniture except for a little couch with some blankets on top of it at the far end on one of the walls.

He was about to enter the kitchen when he felt a sudden cold breeze behind him. Before he could react he felt the tip of a cold blade run against his skin on his right arm just under his shoulder. He hissed in pain and just when he turned around the person was already gone out through the back door.

He grabbed his arm to see how bad he was bleeding. It wasn’t much but his whole palm was red, the blood from his wound starting to drip down his whole arm as well.

“Son of a bitch.” He breathed heavily and sighed in frustration. He took off his jacket and looked around the kitchen. He saw some syringes on the counter and figured this was just a drug hideout.

When he got close to the impala he saw Castiel was already there, leaning against it with his notebook in his hands. He looked really occupied with it as he didn’t see Dean approach him. When he finally looked up his eyes widened and traced the blood on Dean’s hand.

“Dean what the hell? What happened, are you okay?” he asked, closing his notebook and putting it back in his pocket.

He looked different than earlier. Maybe the fact that Dean was hurt had an impact on him, maybe he was genuinely worried about him. Or maybe Dean’s mind was just playing tricks on him. He scoffed.

“It’s nothing. Just a graze.” 

Castiel looked behind Dean as if he was going to see who did this to him or figure out what happened without Dean telling him. His eyes were narrowed, his breath heavy, those blue eyes staring into the nothing.

“Let’s just… get back to the department.” Dean said and started walking towards the driver’s spot.

Castiel was talking on the phone with Benny when Dean came back from the bathroom in his office with a wet cloth for his arm. He sat down in his chair and started cleaning up the dried blood. Cas was looking at him while nodding to whatever Benny was saying over the phone.

“Yeah, okay. Thanks Benny.” Castiel said and put down the phone on Dean’s desk.

“What did he say?” asked Dean, his eyes not leaving the arm he was cleaning.

“Uh… he still has some stores left but nothing so far.”

Dean nodded and he could feel the strong gaze of Cas on him which made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He quickly scrubbed the rest of the dried blood and took the alcohol rag from his desk.

“You need help with that?”

Dean looked up at him for a brief moment. “I got it.”

He heard Castiel stood up and watched him as he approached the chair.

“Let me.” his voice was soft and Dean couldn’t protest anymore. He leaned back in his chair and sighed. Castiel settled in front of him on his knee so he could easily reach up his arm.

Dean hissed slightly as the rag hit his skin. It was cold, the sting bringing a slight bit of pain. The way Cas held his arm, the way he was so gentle with him made Dean have butterflies in his stomach. He was looking down at him with soft eyes and for a moment it felt like it was just them in the world. Dean felt the urge to reach across and put his hand in Cas’ hair but stopped himself just in time. The soft touch of his fingers made Dean close his eyes and drop his head back on his chair.

After a few minutes he felt a tight bandage wrap around his cut. Castiel got up and smiled slightly down at him.

“There.”

“Thanks.” Dean replied and huffed with a smile as well. The way Cas was standing in front of him made him look at his bandaged palm which was still bloody.

“Hey, let me change that for you.”

Cas looked down and took his palm in his hand.

“I… don’t-“

“Cas. Please? 

He looked like he was considering it for a second but in the end gave in and leaned against Dean’s desk, never meeting his eyes. Dean moved his chair closer to Cas and took his arm. He made sure to go slow so he doesn’t scare him away. Dean was grateful he gave him permission to do this, considering how distant he was because of it before so he didn’t want to ruin it.

He slowly took the bandage off and looked up at Cas who didn’t want to look back at him. His palm had bloody scars which looked like were from his nails. How could you even hold your fist so firmly to leave these kind of scars? Dean wondered if he was the reason he did that since he saw him holding his fist like that last night. He took a new rag and placed it in Cas’ palm which made Cas release the breath he was holding in. Dean wanted so bad to ask about it but also didn’t want to push his luck or make Cas upset again.

He looked like he was ashamed or that whatever caused this Dean wouldn’t understand him. Which was wrong. He would. And he was sure if Cas was ready to tell his story to Dean he would. But just not yet, and Dean respected that. He took a new bandage and wrapped it up around the agent’s palm and down his wrist. When he saw done Castiel finally looked down at him and licked his lips.

“Thank you…”

There was a knock on the door before Dean could say anything back.

“Come in.” he said while looking at Cas.

A brown haired woman came in with a concerned look on her face. Dean gestured for her to sit in the chair in front of her.

“I’d like to… to report a uh- a missing person.” her voice was shaky and cracking.

Dean and Cas shared a look and Cas propped himself off of the desk and leaned on the wall behind Dean instead.

“Your name, ma’am?”

“Uh… Lindsey. And the missing person is my husband. Paul.” she played with one of her bracelets while talking, barely even looking up at them.

“When was the last time you saw him?” asked Dean.

“2 days ago. He said he was going out with some friends to a bar but never came back. Doesn’t pick up his phone either. Which is very unlike him. I mean he has his phone with him all the time.”

Dean tried to calm her nervousness down. “Okay just calm down, it’s okay. Do you know the name of the bar?”

“Yeah. It was the ‘Bad Luck’ bar.” she scoffed a laugh and Dean could see she was on the verge of tears. “Great name for a bar, right?”

Dean gave her some papers to fill in and informed her that if they had any lead she would be the first to know. She gave them everything they needed and left.

A missing person meant a possible next victim. Which they needed to prevent that as best as they can. Or at least catch the killer midway and cut his aim. Dean bit his lips and let out a long breath. Him and Cas needed to get on that as fast as possible but first Dean needed his daily drug again he couldn’t function without. Coffee.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we gettin' into the juicy stuff people, so brace yourselves :]]

“I’m gonna go grab a coffee and we can go then. Do you want one?

Castiel looked up at him and smiled briefly. “Ah, yes please.”

Dean nodded and told Cas to wait outside by the impala to which he nodded as well and they both left Dean’s office.

The coffee they had in the department was one of the best coffees Dean has ever tried. Everytime he bought coffee from somewhere else he regretted it because it could never top the one they have. He hated to admit it to himself but he was kind of an addict for that thing. But can anyone blame him? His job required him to be awake even when he was asleep. He grabbed two paper cups, filled them up and headed outside.

Cas was leaning against the car with his notebook in his hands again. He seemed to love that thing too much but Dean found that kind of cute. The way he was leaning back against Dean’s own car, with that long black trench coat, his messy hair sticking everywhere and those long fingers gripping that pen. It made Dean feel all sorts of things. He licked his lips and handed him the coffee.

“Thank you.” he put away his notebook and took the cup with both his hands and started blowing slightly on the hot coffee. Yep that totally didn’t make Dean’s butterflies in his stomach go on fast mode.

About 10 minutes into the ride Castiel finished his coffee and took out his notebook again. Dean was focused on the road, until now.

“You enjoy writing?”

Castiel looked at him for a brief moment, then went back to scribbling something with his pen.

“Drawing, mostly. But I do enjoy writing as well, yes.” his voice was low and raspy.

“What exactly?”

“Poems. I love the simplicity of them, yet they somehow aren’t simple at all.”

Dean nodded slowly, almost to himself. He loved people that read, intelligent people that were not afraid to admit they were a sucker for books or art. He also loved listening to people talk about the thing they are passionate about. He loved seeing the spark in their eyes, the same spark Castiel had right now.

“Can I see some?”

Cas looked at him with narrowed eyes, a slight tilt to his head. “Dean, you are driving.”

Dean opened his mouth to say something but then shut it immediately, pressing his lips together. “Right.”

Maybe Cas didn’t want to show him. Maybe they were too personal to him and he just crossed a boundary he didn’t mean to cross.

“I can show you later, if you’d like. You know, when it won’t be of danger for both of our lives.”

Dean wasn’t looking at him but he could hear the slight smile in Cas’ voice. He smirked too and started nodding. “I’d love to.”

There was silence in the car for a few minutes, the cloudy weather outside making the atmosphere cozy. It didn’t even feel like they were driving to solve a case, but rather going for a sweet ride with no direction.

“Do _you_ draw?” Castiel asked pulling Dean out of his thoughts.

Dean left out a small laugh “Oh God, no.” he looked over at Cas who looked kind of confused with that slight tilt of his head again. “Oh don’t get me wrong. I fucking love art, I just really, really suck at it. Literally can’t even draw a circle.”

Cas left out a chuckle. “So you don’t have any other hobbies?”

Dean focused his vision on the road to think. He did enjoy playing the guitar, although he wouldn’t really call that a hobby. He just loved the sound of it, the melody, the different chords and how he combined them to his amusement. He loved grabbing his guitar after a hard day at work, rain pouring outside and just strumming along.

He looked over at Cas again, slightly tapping on the wheel with his fingers. “Uh, I have a guitar. Nothing serious though, I just love the sound of it.”

Castiel nodded and drew out his tongue to wet his lips. “You sing?” his voice was low and deep but at the same time sweet.

Dean felt shy for a second and he didn’t even know why. “I wouldn’t really… call it singing.”

“Well… talented people are always harsh on themselves. I know from personal experience.” Castiel replied and resumed scribbling away in his notebook.

Dean felt his cheeks heat up and right in that moment he hated that trait of himself. He would always blush whenever someone complimented him or if he felt shy. Which really did not help in some of the situations he’d been in. Especially if he was trying to hide something he was actually excited for.

_“Dean I can’t believe you made me get out of bed at 9AM. On a Saturday.” Sam sounded really pissed at Dean right now. He was fixing his messy bed hair in the rearview mirror of the impala._

_“Sammy, trust me. You will thank me in a few minutes.” Dean was excited about the surprise he had been hiding from Sam for weeks now. He hated hiding things from his brother, but this one was worth it._

_“It’s Sam you know. I’m not 12 anymore.”_

_“Sam, chill. You are 14. Not even yet.” Dean gripped the wheel with his hands. He hated that Sammy was growing up so quickly. His birthday was in a week but Dean was giving him one of his presents today. He’d been talking about this event for weeks and when John told him he couldn’t go he looked so sad and disappointed that Dean couldn’t take it and took it upon himself to get them tickets._

_It was an event about games, meeting new people, dancing, acting. Literally everything Dean could think of. It was one of the biggest events Detroit organized every year and Sam got really interested in it these past few months._

_The car came to a stop outside a big round building. The place was filled with people, music coming from the big speakers they had put outside. It looked really colorful, fun and it was almost like a full on festival. Which now that Dean thought about it maybe it was a festival._

_Sam looked out of the window and was confused but when he turned around to say something to his brother Dean was already out of the car, motioning for Sam to get out as well. He opened the door and stepped outside._

_“You drove me here to annoy me or something? What is this?” Sam looked annoyed, his gaze focused on the people in front of him having fun, a slight bit of hope in his eyes._

_Dean took out the tickets out of his pocket and handed them to his brother. “Here. Happy early Birthday, Sammy.”_

_Sam’s eyes widened, not believing what Dean was showing him right now. He slowly moved up his hand to take the tickets when Dean waved them in front of him._

_“But… dad said -”_

_“I know what he said. This is fully on my expense, you seemed really in for this thing and I wanted to surprise you.” Dean replied and had the biggest grin on his face doing so._

_Sam smiled slowly, his eyes sparkling. “You… paid for this on your own? Dean that’s… I don’t even know what to say.”_

_Dean chuckled. “Well a thank you for a start would be great.” he said jokingly, his blush starting to appear on his cheeks._

_Sam looked up at him, gave out the biggest smile ever and hugged his older brother. “Thank you.”_

The impala was now parked in front of the ‘Bad Luck’ bar, the big neon sign shining through the fog that was forming.

The bar had quite a lot of people in it, considering it was the middle of the day. Just as they started walking towards the bar stand a very clearly drunk man bumped into Castiel. He stumbled a little bit backwards, balancing himself on one of the tables with his hand. When the man looked up at Cas he started laughing.

“Daaaamnnn, sick fucking scar, dude.”

Castiel seemingly tensed up, his knuckles turning white from gripping the table. Dean narrowed his eyes at the stranger and felt his anger rush through him. Before he could say anything to him he saw the man fall down to his knees, hands holding his cheekbone. Dean’s eyes widened, his gaze turning to Cas who was ready to land another punch. Dean stopped him by putting his arm on the agent’s chest. They locked eyes, Dean’s gaze searching Cas’ face. Cas started blinking, licked his lips and looked down at his bloody knuckles. Both of their faces softened and Dean wanted to take his hand to ease the pain somehow.

The stranger got up and was ready to fight but Dean shot him a sharp stare, holding him by his collar. “Get. Lost.”

The man looked like he was about to argue but didn’t, instead spitting blood on the floor. He nudged out of Dean’s grip and left.

Dean’s gaze immediately shifted back to Cas. He was breathing heavily, still looking at his shaking hand.

“Hey, Cas. Are you okay?” Dean’s voice was soft, trembling. He wanted to reach to Cas but wasn’t sure if it was okay.

Cas didn’t respond at first, so Dean called out his name again, softer this time. His hand finally gripping the side of the agents left arm. Cas seemed to relax under Dean’s touch, calming down and his shaking coming to a more relaxed pace.

“Yeah I-… I’m sorry.” he fidgeted on his feet, eyes afraid to look up at Dean.

“There is nothing to be sorry about, Cas.” he managed to find a tissue in his back pocket. “Hey look at me.”

When Castiel finally did look at him his eyes were the bluest to ever blue, gaze soft and apologizing. Dean took this opportunity to reach out and take Cas’ injured arm from the hit into his own.

“It’s okay, just calm down. Breathe.” Dean took a deep breath himself, showing Cas to do the same. His hands working over Cas’ one with the tissue. “That’s it. Just look at me.”

Castiel’s breaths eventually became slower and steadier, his eyes never leaving Dean’s. They way Dean was taking care of him felt kind of intimate and he almost forgot they were in the middle of the bar with people staring at them. He didn’t even care though and he didn’t even want to do his job right now. He just wanted to stay like this, Cas’ hand in his own, their eyes locked on each other.

He knew they had to get the job done though so when most of the blood was dry, he let go of Castiel’s hand.

“Thank you.” he said and they resumed their walk to the bar stand.

A young, red haired woman was behind the bar.

“What can I help you with, gentlemen?” she looked really welcoming and had a huge smile on her face. Her eyes traced up and down Dean’s body then fixated on the badge on his belt.

“We are looking for a man. Paul Stone? He was last seen here two days ago.” Dean took out his phone and showed her a picture the wife had sent him.

She frowned and nodded her head. “Yeah I know him. He is a pretty regular customer of ours, comes every two days or so.”

Dean nodded and looked over at Cas who had his eyes narrowed at the woman.

“Do you know if he got in some sort of fight last time he was here?”

“No, he usually just comes, drinks, and leaves. He never causes any trouble. Dude is just miserable I guess.”

She seemed really unbothered by the fact that he was actually missing. She kept eyeing Dean which he didn’t fight since his mind was focused on a totally different person. And women flirting with him wasn’t an uncommon thing so he just got used to not paying attention to it. Plus sometimes it was helpful.

“Okay, uh…” Dean looked down to see her name badge. “…Anna. You have cameras in this place right?” she started nodding. “Mind if we check the footage?” he made sure to lick his lips and smirk when the words left his mouth.

She could easily say no and they would have to go back to the department for a consent letter to view the footage. Dean knew his ways though.

Anna licked her lips and smiled softly. “Sure. Follow me.”

Dean turned to Cas with an amused smirk across his face, lifting his eyebrows. Cas looked back at him, letting out a breath and ready to roll his eyes.

Anna let them into a room with 4 monitors and a man sitting in front of them. He had his legs up on the table and had his phone in his pockets. They all stood behind him and Anna asked him to show the footages of two days ago. Lindsey had told them that her husband was coming here with friends but the footage showed Paul entering alone. He was sitting on one of the further inside tables and the first hour of the footage was all the same. Paul sitting alone, downing drink, after drink, after drink. There wasn’t anything suspicious except the fact that he was lying to his wife. But Dean assumed that’s a family problem and didn’t have anything to do with their case.

“Can you skip a little bit?” Castiel asked and crossed his arms over his chest.

The man skipped through the footage, with nothing more different than they already saw. When the time hit 2:17AM and Paul had been sitting in the same spot for 3 hours now, a man suddenly sat across from him. The man was still skipping through it so Dean told him to go back a bit.

“Wait, wait, wait. Go back a little bit.” to which Dean leaned forward and propped himself on the desk.

The footage was now back to it’s normal speed, seconds before the man approached Paul. The camera was placed somewhere on top, facing Paul’s face and the back of the mysterious man. He was dressed in a dark blue hoodie, black jeans and had a cap on his head which was impossible to see his face that way. They couldn’t tell if Paul knew him or if he’d just been too drunk to care about someone coming to talk to him. They were talking for almost 15 minutes when suddenly they both got up and started walking towards the entrance. The suspect was now facing the camera more, but his face still couldn’t be seen from his cap. His clothes had no stamps on them either which made it even harder. Plus the quality of the camera wasn’t the best.

“You can’t zoom in on that?” Dean asked a little more firmly than he intended.

“No, sir. This is as far as it gets.”

Dean turned to face Anna. “You don’t remember this man coming in, he hadn’t ordered anything?”

Anna shook her head. “There are a lot of people coming in and out, officer. I can’t account for every single one of them.”

Dean nodded annoyingly and tongued the inside of his cheek. “I want a copy of that. When it’s done send it to the Police Department, please.”

Both Anna and the man nodded and Dean was about to express his gratitude when his phone rang. It was Benny.

“We greatly appreciate it, thank you.” said Castiel instead and they both left the room, Dean picking up his phone.

“Chief there’s something you will want to see.”

\--

The store Dean just parked in front of didn’t look very big. It looked like a normal local store that people went to buy small things from. When they entered the store to their left, Benny was behind the cashier, looking at something on the computer. When he noticed someone came in he shot his eyes up at them.

“The hell happened to you guys?” he asked with a confused look on his face. Dean almost forgot he got stabbed when he suddenly felt the pain rush through him again by the reminding of it.

He waved his hand off. “It’s nothing, don’t worry. What’s up?”

“Well this kind man here, Tommy, said a man bought 10 big packs of cotton four days ago.” he motioned with his hand to Dean and Cas to come around next to him. “And he showed me the CCTV, even though it’s slight blurry and you can’t see much since the guy’s wearing a hat.”

At those words Dean and Cas shared a strong look, immediately focusing on the monitor in front of them after.

Tommy played the footage and their thoughts matched with it. It was the same guy from the bar. Same clothes, same cap. The only difference was that it was slightly bit more zoomed, equally bad camera quality. Dean left out a breath, which looked like he was holding in for a while and then left out a chuckle. Benny narrowed his eyes at him.

“What?”

“We just saw the same man on the footage of the bar we were just in.”

“Wait, a bar? What are you guys on about?”

Dean remember he actually hadn’t told Benny about the report of the missing person. He thought to himself he’d explain later and gestured a hand to Benny which he seemed to understand what it meant.

“I assume he paid cash?” Dean asked.

“That’s right, sir.” Tommy replied.

Dean left out another chuckle and then pressed his lips together. “Son of a-.” he whispered to himself.

\---

They all decided to sit at Benny’s favorite place, which looked pretty much like a coffee shop that also serves drinks. It was pretty cozy, the lighting was really nice and the rain that was pouring outside made it even better. They sat at one of the tables near the mirror and Dean got some flashbacks of the night Cas decided to leave all of a sudden. Both Benny and Cas took their jackets off and Dean’s eyes fixated on the man’s ripped arms again. He was with the same black shirt as that night. It was illegal to be so attractive. Dean was already in his T-shirt only so he sat down.

They talked for a couple hours. First about the case, Cas and Dean explaining to Benny about how Dean got stabbed, about Lindsey and her husband Paul and about Cas’ little fight. They talked about the alleged suspect they know have, even if they didn’t know his face yet. ‘Small steps at a time’ was how Benny replied to that and he was right. The important thing was that they now had two footages they can review over and over. After that they started talking about literally everything else, but work. Which felt good and refreshing that they didn’t have to worry about it all, even if they were still worried. They got a lot of work done in one day and they deserved a little break.

Benny was telling them a story about how as a child he got caught drawing graffiti under some bridge by the police and now he was a police officer himself. They all laughed and smiled, even Cas, which Dean found really cute and made his heart skip a few beats.

“Well I enjoyed the chit-chat, gentlemen but my eyes cannot keep me up any longer.” Benny said and got up from his seat and took his jacket. “Will see you tomorrow though.”

Dean smiled at him “For sure. Night, Benny.”

Castiel said his goodbyes with Benny as well and it was just him and Dean now. Castiel was sipping his tea when Dean remembered he had promised him something. Okay maybe not promised, but he said he’d do it.

“Hey, Cas.” when Cas shifted his attention to him he continued. “Can I have a look at your notebook?”

Castiel smiled briefly from behind his cup. “Oh. Yeah, don’t expect much though. And also it’s more of a sketchbook rather than a notebook.” he took it out of his trench coat and handed it to Dean.

Dean felt like he was being handed something sacred, holy. The covers were brown, made of leather and really soft to the touch. He turned the first page and there was a beautiful drawing of a man looking down, with wings. It was made with a charcoal pencil, the shading of it fit perfectly the style Cas had.

“Wow.” was all Dean managed to say and this was just the first page.

The next few pages had pretty similar drawings on them. It was either angels, drawn in various poses, shape and forms. Or demons – or what seemed like demons – with beautiful black horns. He had drawn forests, castles, fairies. Dean was in awe looking at all of these drawings. He was really focused on one of the demons – an attractive looking male with some really sharp face features, with black horns and glowing yellow eyes.

“Cas, these are amazing. I – I really have no words for them.” he swallowed and felt the urge to lick his lips. “When did you start doing this?”

Castiel pressed his lips together and drew in a breath. “Forever, really. Ever since I was little. Drawing helps me… escape. From the real world. Hence the angels and demons and what not.”

Dean was being drawn in more and more towards Cas’ art. There was just something about them. Something unique, different… Dean hadn’t seen anything like them before. And no he wasn’t overexaggerating. It just wakened a feeling in Dean no artist he’d seen before did. He turned the next page and there was a poem written on it this time.

_Ice is what I’ve become, ice is what I am.  
Light seeking through me,  
opens cracks and paths.  
Visiting my deepest depths._

_Escaping me to become Me.  
Yesterday was ice, today must be fire.  
Obey this Lord above,  
undertake this path of yours._

_Mistakes are made  
and they are yet to come.  
Evil must be beaten,  
lightning striking through it._

_Lust and love should melt  
the iceberg I’ve created._

_-3:43AM_

Dean felt speechless and he couldn’t say anything for what seemed like forever.

“Cas this is… this is beautiful.” he read it a couple more times because he just fell in love with it.

“I usually don’t really… write. But thank you, Dean.” his voice sounded low and sweet, making Dean want to reach across the table and just kiss the man already. Instead he licked his own lips and started turning pages again. He stopped when he saw a portrait of Cas. A ¾ view of his face, eyes looking to the side. It was made with charcoal, as all of his other stuff, and it was just perfect. The way he shaded his hair, the blue from his eyes missing but still having that light in them. This man really was talented. He was looking at it for a few seconds when he realized there was something missing about it. Cas’ scar wasn’t there. Does he dare ask him? Maybe this was before he got it. But he said it wasn’t recent. He wanted to ask him so bad but he also didn’t-

“I wanted to know how I would look like.” Castiel’s voice suddenly drew Dean out of his thoughts, catching him off guard. It sent shivers down his spine and he shifted in his seat. “Without it.”

Dean looked up at him but Cas was looking out of the window and into the foggy night. Dean didn’t know what to say to that - or he did - but he didn’t know if it was the right thing to say. He liked Cas’ scar. He thought it suit him, his character. He didn’t know the story behind it and he was sure the story wasn’t pretty but that doesn’t mean Cas wasn’t as well.

“Well…” he cleared his throat. “For what’s worth I think you look pretty ho - great. You look pretty great with it.”

Did he fuck up? He hoped he didn’t fuck up.

Castiel nodded slightly and smiled, letting out the long breath he was holding.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Cas asked and that was totally _not_ what Dean was expecting. His eyebrows shot up and he opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again.

“Wha – uh, yeah. Yeah, of course.” Dean looked out the window and it looked like it had stopped raining. Cas started putting on his trench coat, Dean admiring his body. It was a good thing they were going for a walk because Dean was starting to feel his cheeks heat up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also a little side note, the poem in this i wrote myself like 3 years ago, so pleace don't judge it too harshly! :D also ik i might be saying it a lot but i appreciate you reading! <3


	5. Chapter 5

The night was foggy, the slight cold breeze dancing around Dean’s skin. The bright street lights were giving the atmosphere the look of a fairytale. The people walking around, families with kids, couples, people walking their dogs. Sometimes Dean hated the big city but at times like these, when it was so beautiful, he loved it.

“You ever showed your art to anyone else?”

Cas looked like he didn’t hear him as it took him a few seconds to look at Dean and respond to the question.

He shook his head. “Uh, not really. It’s just kind of what I do on my own and I don’t think people would be really interested in my personal… hobbies.”

“Well, I am.” Dean said without hesitation. It was almost like his body said that on its own and not really him. But Castiel’s pieces were stunning and they really made Dean have some kind of feeling in him. “I mean your stuff they are… they are great, Cas. And I’d definitely have something like that hung up on my wall.”

Even if Dean sounded like a little fanboy right now he didn’t care. Artists were really underappreciated these days and even if Cas didn’t consider himself as one, he was. He might not make money from it but that didn’t mean he wasn’t an artist. Plus Dean didn’t know where this, somewhat flirty compliments, would take him to so he didn’t care how he sounded.

Cas let out a breath through his nose and smirked slightly. “Thank you, Dean.”

They were walking in silence for a few minutes. Dean didn’t even know where they were walking to. It seemed like Cas didn’t either as he was looking everywhere, admiring the buildings and architecture that was in this part of town.

“What about you, Dean?”

When Dean looked over at him and narrowed his eyes, Cas continued talking.

“When did u learn to play guitar?” he sounded genuinely interested and it gave Dean butterflies in his stomach.

“Uh, well my brother gave me one for my 25th birthday. And I just watched a lot of videos. Like, a lot.”

Castiel chuckled and that smile looked so good on him. “You will have to play something for me sometime.”

Did Dean just hear that correctly? Were his ears lying to him right now or was this actually real? Cas wanted to hear him play? He could get on board with that. He had played in front of his friends before, Charlie even suggested him to drop the police work and become a singer, or a rock star. Even though she said it jokingly, Dean couldn’t deny that his eyes sparkled at the idea. But that life wasn’t for him anyway. He wasn’t as drawn into playing and singing as he was into solving cases, piecing puzzles together.

Was it too early to invite Cas to his place right now? He didn’t want to look desperate or anything under those lines, that’s why he questioned himself that. Would Cas find it weird? Sure he said sometime, which didn’t necessarily mean right now. But what did Dean have to lose? They were friends – no – partners, or frie-… whatever. Ain’t nothing wrong in inviting your partner over for a beer, right? He was overthinking this too much, his head ready to explode from so much thinking.

He put his hands in his jeans pockets and slowed his walking. “How about now? We can… drink a beer or something and you can hear my awesome guitar skills.” Dean let out a laugh to mask how nervous he was. He couldn’t tell if that worked or not.

Castiel started nodding slowly. “Sounds fun.” he shot a smile at Dean. “Okay.”

Dean tried to hide the big smile that was forming across his face but failed miserably. They started walking back to the coffee shop, where the impala was parked.

Dean’s apartment wasn’t that big, or so he thought. The big white hallway was the first thing you walked into when you entered Dean’s home. It was modern, with a big mirror attached to the left wall, with some shelves under it and some paintings and decorations on the continuation of the wall as well. A stripped blue rug was laid across the tiles on the floor. You could see the kitchen table from the front door, which was also connected with the living room. Down the hallway to the right into another small corridor was Dean’s bedroom and the bathroom. Inside the bathroom there were two doors, one leading to the corridor and the other to the bedroom. The bed was a king size one, of course, the wooden wall behind it giving the room a cozy feeling. There was a big TV in front of it, shelves and decorations all around it, the bathroom door to the right. Dean also had a little desk next to the bed and a big wardrobe with sliding doors on the opposite side. The windows were from ceiling to floor with big black curtains. Dean lived on the 11th floor so it was quite a nice view.

The L shaped kitchen had really nice, full white counters and wooden shelves on top. To the left was the small living room with a big grey couch, TV and shelves in front of it as well. The big windows, same as the bedroom, gave the room a more open look, making it appear a little bit bigger than it actually is. Dean’s guitar was hanging from the wall, as well as some family pictures next to it. The whole apartment had bright white lights, making it even more welcoming and modern.

As Dean unlocked the front door he felt Cas’ stare on him and it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. They stepped inside and Cas took off his coat which made Dean lick his lips. The agent’s eyes were roaming everywhere, exploring Dean’s apartment with his gaze.

“It’s nice.” Cas slowly sat on the couch, as Dean invited him to. “I like all the white.”

Which was weird, considering Cas was dressed in all black.

Dean was searching around his fridge. “Thank you. It does give it a calming look, I suppose.” he replied and pulled out two beers, as well as a bag full of ice.

Castiel shot his eyes up at him with a confused look as he saw the ice. Dean didn’t bother asking him first because he knew Cas’ reply would be ‘no need’ so he just didn’t ask.

“It’s for your hand.”

Cas took his time taking the bag but eventually he did and put it on his bruised knuckles. Dean went around to grab his guitar then sat down on the couch as well. He took a sip of his beer and put it on the small table in front of him.

“So, what do you wanna hear?” Dean asked, gripping the neck of his guitar.

The way Cas looked right now, in Dean’s home, made his heart tingle. The fact he was going to play for him made him feel uplifted and even if they were still in uniforms it felt kind of personal as well.

“Whatever, really. I don’t mind anything.” his voice was soft, eyes locked up on Dean.

Dean felt the urge to lick his lips again as he started nodding slowly. He strung every string to check if the guitar was tuned. He had a lot of songs in his mind and he wondered which one would be the best to present to Cas. He settled on the first song he had ever learnt – Hallelujah. It was his mom’s favorite and he wished he’d been able to play it to her before she passed.

He started playing each chord, focusing his gaze on the guitar, instead of Cas. And even though he wasn’t directly looking at Cas he could feel the man’s eyes on him and it made Dean nervous, his palm gripping the neck, sweat. He was probably thinking too much of it, he thought. Cas probably didn’t even find him attractive and his intentions were purely friendly.

As he was strumming along, the song coming to an end, he looked up at Cas who was looking back at him, smile reaching his eyes. The way a few hair strands fell on his face made him look like an adorable big baby instead of the mysterious and intimidating man Dean always saw in him.

“That was beautiful, Dean. I loved it.”

Dean put the guitar down on the couch and chuckled. “Thank you, Cas.”

Castiel handed him the bag of ice, as it was half melt already. “Thank you again, for the ice.”

Dean took it off of his hands, his knuckles all shades of purple and yellow.

“Man, you hit hard.” he said as he put the bag in the sink to deal with later.

Cas’ fingers tightened around his beer bottle, eyes looking down, almost embarrassed. “I- I didn’t mean to, Dean. I-…”

“Hey, I know, okay. No need to justify it.” Dean managed to say before Cas even finished his sentence. “That guy was a total asshole.”

There was silence in the room after that. Both of them sitting on the couch, sharing stares, but never locking eyes. Dean was looking when Cas wasn’t. And Cas was looking when Dean wasn’t. Dean was about to say something when Cas suddenly broke the silence.

“My scar…” he started slowly, barely getting the words out. “I got it when I was 13.” His breath was uneven, words shaky. His eyes were glued to the floor, fingers hooked against the bottle. He wouldn’t dare look up at Dean and all Dean wanted to do was reach to him, touch him, hold him in his arms.

Dean’s eyes were wide, gaze focused on the man’s neck. 13 years old? That was way too young to get a scar like that. He didn’t know what to say – or – he didn’t want to say anything. I mean what do you say to that? I’m sorry? That would be way less than enough. He let Cas breathe it out, he didn’t want to interrupt him in any way or cause him uncomfortableness. He was grateful Cas trusted him enough to share this with him.

Castiel took the last sip of his beer, drew in a long breath, then let it out slowly. He placed the bottle on the table and grabbed his bandaged hand instead, putting pressure on the wound on his palm.

“Acid. My… - whatever.” He sounded upset but at the same time mad, letting out uneven breaths.

Dean didn’t want to push any further. What Cas told him he didn’t have to, but he did anyway. And to think that at 13 Dean was playing on his playstation, Sammy next to him cheering his big brother up over the boss he just killed. He felt his eyes filling slowly with water. Whatever Cas’ story was he knew he wouldn’t get the whole of it on one go. He was even surprised he got any of it to begin with. He got nervous as well, palms sweaty, leg shaking. But he needed to be strong. For his friend.

“Jesus, Cas, I-…” Dean stood up from the couch and filled Cas a glass of water. He sat down again, closer to the agent this time. He figured actions spoke more than words right now. “I’m sorry wouldn’t even cover the bills but… I’m glad you are here.”

Castiel took the water and wiped his eyes with his hand then looked over at Dean, locking stares. His eyes were sparkly, gaze soft. It made Dean feel at peace and he hoped Cas could feel that as well. “Thank you.” His voice was low, almost a whisper.

They sat in silence for a while, until Cas broke it again. “Can you… can you play something else?”

A soft smile spread across Dean’s face and he grabbed his guitar quickly. “Of course, Cas. Any requests?”

“How about… ‘You are my sunshine’ by Johnny Cash? You know that one?” Cas took another sip of his water.

Dean nodded and started strumming. He played the song, then a couple more. He hadn’t enjoyed free time so much in a long time. Every time he was free of work he couldn’t get his mind off the cases he’d had to solve. But this right now, with Cas, felt different. His head was filled with smiles, instead of dark thoughts and puzzles and his stomach with butterflies instead of a sick feeling. And until now he was always alone. He was never lonely, but it felt nice having someone at his home at 11PM, having someone to share a beer with. The sound of Cas’ voice and even laugh, the few times he did, filled the room with serotonin. It was close to 12PM when Cas got up to leave.

“I think I’m gonna… go home, it’s getting late.” He said and they both stood up and started walking through the hallway. “Thank you for the beers, though. And the concert.” he let out a chuckle.

Dean did the same and put his hands in his pockets as they stopped at the front door. Cas put on his coat and turned to face Dean. “See you tomorrow, Dean.” And with that he was out the door with Dean only letting out a quick ‘see you’ before Cas disappeared.

He let out a long breath as he was closing the door. A lot to think about. Today was crazy, in all aspects of the word. They finally got a lead on the case and he just had an amazing time with his partner. Plus what Cas told him about his scar… He couldn’t even imagine what was going on through his head. Or his soul. And he didn’t even know the full story. But he knew enough to understand Cas a little bit more. When Cas told him he drew to escape the real world maybe this was why.

Right now though Dean was tired and he needed to get some sleep, because tomorrow they finally had some concrete evidence to go through. He took a hot shower, snuggled in his bed sheets and fell asleep.

_The big, dark room smelled like old, rotting furniture and some kind of a dead animal. The light from Dean’s flashlight and the moon glooming outside were the only source of light. Dean stepped slowly, carefully, trying not to make too much noise. The broken wood creaking from underneath his boots. He felt his heart speed up its rate as his flashlight ran out of battery and the room was now completely dark._

_Now Dean was sitting in a chair, hands tied behind his back, the thick rope bruising his wrists. He slowly lifted his head up, headache so bad he thought his brains were going to explode. There were slight lights coming from the ceiling, the yellow color of them making it harder to see anything. Dean looked to his left and what he saw made him widen his eyes._

_It was Castiel, tied up to a chair, same as he was. Blood spread all across his bruised face, head down. Dean squirmed in his chair in a desperate way to try and do something, anything. But the restrains on his wrists and now legs too had him helpless._

_“Cas.” He tried calling out to him, voice low. He felt awful that he couldn’t help him, he was just sitting there in a chair, watching his knocked out partner._

_“Cas, buddy, come on. Wake up.” he whispered, his voice shaking, letting out uneven breaths._

_He tried yet again to break out but stopped immediately as he heard big, heavy steps approaching from behind him. The creaking wood making each step feel scarier, making Dean sweat, panic. The sounds of the boots suddenly stopped and as he was turning his head to look behind him –_

Dean woke up. His head ready to explode. His hand gripping the sheet, sweat formed on his forehead. He lifted himself up on his bed, trying to slow down his breaths. Another nightmare? What was up with them recently? Dean wasn’t usually one to get a lot of nightmares, it was just that when he did they were bad. They made him feel low and exhausted throughout the whole day and they left some kind of bitter taste on his tongue. And the fact that the nightmare was with Cas didn’t help at all. Dean hated when he was helpless, when he couldn’t do anything to help someone. He hated feeling useless.

He ran a hand through his hair and walked himself to the bathroom, taking a cold shower. It was a habit of his every time after a nightmare. To take a cold shower. It made him calm down at least a little bit. After he was done with the shower he cleaned the cut on his arm, letting it breath this time. They had a lot of work today as well, so he quickly put on his uniform and grabbed his phone. Dean’s mind had this one thought the whole drive to the Department: should he tell Cas about his dream?


	6. Chapter 6

The weather outside was as warm as it could be for 7AM, the sun dancing on Dean’s face. Despite the good weather though Dean’s nightmare had a pretty strong effect on him. It was creeping at the back of his head, a thought always reminding him of it. He hated nightmares, he used to have them a lot when he was younger, but they eventually faded away with the memory of his parents passing. Not that he could ever forget about them or what happened but people said time heals and Dean totally agreed. Time doesn’t make you forget but it makes you be a better person, makes you move forward to the future, instead of walking back to the past.

The sight of Cas sitting on one of the benches in front of Dean’s office made his heart melt. He suddenly felt relieved, calmed by the fact that his partner was sitting right there, instead of beat up and tied to a chair. Dean quickly shook off these thoughts instead focusing on the way Cas’ messy hair fell on his forehead. The way his fingers were wrapped around his pencil, drawing away in his sketchbook. The way his eyebrows were clenched together, tongue drawing out every now on then to wet his lips. If it weren’t for the work they had, Dean could just stand there and watch Cas draw for hours. Or have Cas draw him instead. God he could only dream about that. He could only imagine himself drawn in the sacred sketchbook, as he called it, the fine dark lines of the pencil defining his face, his body.

Cas seemed to have noticed him standing there, as he closed his sketchbook and stood up from the bench, grabbing two cups of coffee that were apparently sitting next to him.

“Hey, Dean. Coffee?”

That deep morning voice sent a whole shiver down Dean’s spine, the way his name sounded on Cas’ tongue like this didn’t help at all.

“It’s still hot. I just grabbed them.”

He had a slight smile on his face and Dean in no way wanted to ruin that with the story of his awful dream. He smiled back and took one of the cups.

“Thanks, Cas. What were you drawing?” he asked as he worked the lock of his office door open.

“Uh, nothing really. Just some doodles.”

“Well even your doodles look like you spent hours on them, so.”

Castiel left a breath out through his nose and Dean could hear the smile on his face.

“Anyway,” he continued as they entered the room “Jo gave me this,” he took out a flash drive from his pocket and hurried to his computer “It’s the footage from the bar.”

When Jo gave him the drive he was surprised that they had send it in so early in the day, but he wasn’t going to complain. His charms seemed to work on that bartender girl Dean had already forgotten the name of.

When Benny arrived as well, all three of them went over the whole footage at least three times. They came to the conclusion Paul was in fact unhappy with his marriage and had been drowning in his own misery for God knows how long. Benny moved in his chair and put a hand out to the monitor in front of him.

“I don’t know, chief. I mean… three days and no body report?”

They had a lot of missing parts on the case still. Jody was still finding information about the previous victim, Andrew. With the autopsy done, even though it told them nothing new, gathering information was the next step. They had to find some relatives of Andrew. There was no way he lived alone, didn’t have a job at the time being and had such a nice home to live in, without any debts. Receiving information about victims wasn’t as easy as in the movies. It required a lot more than just searching up a name in the engine and clicking a button. They had to be patient and work with what they had in store right now, deal with the information that came up eventually later.

The fact that there hadn’t been a body yet didn’t mean anything. Maybe there was but no one has found it yet. Or maybe the killer was taking his sweet time. They had no idea how the guy ‘worked’, how he was going about his victim, they didn’t know his thought process and what action came after the previous one.

“That doesn’t prove anything, Benny.” Dean replied, eyes focused on the disguised stranger on the footage. He had zoomed in on the man as far as he could but it still wasn’t enough, they still needed to send the footage to Jody, for her to up the quality and zoom percentage.

Jody Mills was one of the best evidence technicians Dean has ever had. She worked fast and with efficiency. You could tell she absolutely loved her job and she didn’t complain over how much work she had like some previous technicians. She had been worked for the department for the past three years and Dean already knew she was the best they’ve had. Some would argue that Dean didn’t require a lot of people. He didn’t have much workers. But in fact he just had less people, but they were the best at doing their jobs. For him it was better to have quality over quantity, which was part of the reason he risked his life as an officer everyday as well, instead of just being the head administrator and a public face of the department. People would say he was being unprofessional but he didn’t care. He cared about helping people more than just sitting in his office all day.

When they came to the conclusion that they weren’t going to get anything new from this footage, Benny took the drive to give to Jody and Dean and Cas decided to go question Paul’s wife. Maybe she wasn’t telling the whole truth.

\---

“Any leads?” Lindsey asked as she opened her front door. Her voice was shaky, barely giving any volume out.

Dean looked around the room as he stepped in, Cas beside him. “Maybe.” he replied and Lindsey invited them to sit on the couch as she was gathering the missing person posters she had printed out from the table. After they were all made into a pile she sat across them.

“We need to ask you a couple of questions.”

Lindsey seemingly tensed up, the worry on her face now growing bigger, eyes starting to fill up with water.

“You said your husband visited the bar with friends but this footage showed us something else.” Cas explained and as he pulled out his phone out of his pocket to show a snip of the footage his whole body moved, making his knee brush over Dean’s which totally didn’t make his heart flutter.

“Do you know this man?”

The woman was looking down at the phone, her eyes darting over the screen and what could possibly be the last sighting of her husband. It has already been over 48 hours of him missing which meant time for gathering information was running out and they soon had to look on this as a homicide.

“I – no… He had told me he is going out with friends but… I don’t recognize that guy.”

She sounded genuinely worried and scared and they figured she was telling the truth. Dean leaned forward and put his elbows on his thighs.

“Have you guys ever… fought? Had any family problems or anything like that?”

“Recently… we were fighting a lot, yeah.” She frowned up at them. “You – don’t think that I - .”

“We don’t know what to think, ma’am.” Castiel cut her off quickly. “We just want to figure out what happened.”

When she calmed down a bit she explained how much Paul was jealous, how he didn’t let her go out for a ‘girls night’. How he would tell her what to and not to wear. Eventually this brought them to a lot of fighting, which was also the reason Paul was gone with days, drinking his pain away in a bar. Maybe their relationship wasn’t what some people would call – healthy – but Lindsey clearly cared about him despite his possessive behavior.

They asked her a couple more questions hoping something, anything would come up as helpful but unfortunately, nothing. She was upset and they didn’t want to disturb her any further.

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly considering the only activity Dean and Cas did was stand in front of a computer reviewing CCTV footages. With the occasional ‘Hey I’m gonna go bring some food’ talk they had pretty much not moved from Dean’s office at all. The footages told them nothing new, even the one from the shop that arrived later in the day. There was still no reports of any bodies or any more missing people, so at least that was a plus.

It was 6PM when they both decided to call it a day and head on home. Dean went by to Jody to drop off the footage from the shop as well and said his goodbye with his colleagues.

Dean was in his car, contemplating whether or not to go to a bar for a drink or two. His thoughts were filled with mysterious, dark and handsome and he needed to _not_ think about him for at least a couple of hours. Not that there was anything wrong in fantasizing about your.. partner… never mind. Dean needed to blow off some steam with some alone time and alcohol. 

He ordered his usual, whiskey with extra ice, at Jimmy’s bar. The place always had a lot of people as it was one of the best bars in Dean’s neighborhood. He was about to take a sip from his drink when he saw a woman settling on the bar seat next to him.

“Nice car.”

She had long brown hair, falling perfectly on her shoulders. She was dressed with a brown leather jacket, jeans and boots. Her soft british accent added a nice touch to her look.

Dean looked outside to his parked impala, then back to the woman. “Thanks. Nice jacket.”

She shot him a smile and took a sip of her own drink. “I’m Bela.”

Dean nodded to himself, almost in annoyance. Sure she was pretty, but Dean was way past the one night stands he used to have years ago. He might have some thoughts but he never acts on them anymore. He just grew out of the whole ‘let’s fuck and then never speak to each other ever again’ cliche. He was a sucker for romantic dates, a slow passionate fuck with his crush and a movie with popcorn on a friday night.

“Look, I think you got the wrong impression.”

Bela held his gaze until Dean looked down at his drink. She looked annoyed by the fact that she just got rejected and if the way she smacked her glass on the bar was any indication, yes she was angry. Whatever, she was pretty enough to seduce someone else but Dean wasn’t it tonight. He had a few more drinks, enough so that he could still drive, and headed home.

\---

Dean’s thumb was brushing over Cas’ name in his contacts. The time on his phone read 2:43AM and Dean couldn’t fall asleep. He was snuggled up under his covers, thoughts occupied with the devastatingly handsome agent. He still hadn’t told Cas about his dream but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He had some sort of a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach and he didn’t know if it was just a false alarm like all the others or – it was probably false alarm and he was just trying to find excuses. He bit his lower lip and clenched his eyebrows together, hitting the message icon next to Cas’ name.

 **2:45am** : hey, u awake?

He was going to regret this. Cas was probably asleep, safe and sound in his bed, way deep into his third dream and Dean was delusional. He was about to just roll over and try this sleep thing again until his phone lit up.

_Attachment: 1 image_

Dean felt his heart quicken, as well as his breaths. He was genuinely scared to click on the notification now. An image? At 3 in the morning? From dark and handsome? He was either really going to regret this or - … he was going to regret it. He drew out his tongue to wet his lips and clicked his phone.

It was a very blurred picture of Cas’ legs in what seemed like sweatpants, the street in front of him lit up by some dim lights. Sweatpants? He had never seen Castiel in anything else than trousers so this was a bit odd.

 **2:48am:** are u rinning? at 3 in the morning?

 **2:49am:** Indeed.

This dude was crazy. Running at such an hour? Normal people went out for a run at 5-6am not 3. A bad, or maybe good, thought entered into Dean’s mind. Why not go for a run himself too? Not alone of course, with Cas. Dean, come on don’t be stupid he wouldn’t want company, he probably runs at such a time for a reason. But he couldn’t fall asleep even if he wanted to and with the image Cas just presented him his chances went down to zero. Fuck it.

 **2:52am:** care for a running buddy?

 **2:52am:** Sure.   
**2:53am:** _Current location sent._

Cas answered pretty fast to that one, Dean didn’t complain of course. He clicked on the location Castiel sent and it turned out he wasn’t too far from his apartment. Maybe like a 10 minute run. He quickly put on some old ACDC shirt, black sweatpants, his running shoes and basically sprinted the 10 minute run.

Cas was standing under one of the street lamps and holy fuck. What Dean saw made him hold his breath without even taking notice. Castiel was dressed in grey sweatpants, a t-shirt that perfectly hugged his tanned arm muscles, veins popping off all over his body. He was sweaty, with a darker spot already forming on his v-neck. He had earbuds sitting on the hem of his t-shirt. His head was down, searching up something on his phone. And the scar on the side of his neck made him even hotter. He was like a fucking model and Dean couldn’t take his eyes off of him. Cas was hot in his formal black shirt and black trench coat but this… this was something else. Dean felt his sweatpants suddenly got tighter and he licked his lips. Fuck maybe it was a mistake he came here. He cleared his throat after what seemed like forever and took a step towards Cas.

He seemed to finally notice him as he put his phone in his pocket and turned to him. “Dean. Hey.”

Fuck that voice. Fuck his stupidly handsome face that made Dean melt under those heavy blue eyes.

“Hey. The hell is wrong with you running at 3 in the fucking morning?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Cas had a devious smirk spread across his face that made Dean weak in the knees.

 _‘I only came because of you, idiot I was in my bed until u decided to send me that picture of you with SWEATPANTS’_ was what Dean wanted to say but settled on ‘Fair point’ instead.

They were running in silence, Dean admiring the way Cas’ hair was moving up and down, sticking to his sweaty forehead. Dean usually worked out but he was nowhere near Cas’ skills. It was like the man had been running his whole life, he didn’t even hitch a breath. Plus Cas’ body was pretty distracting which didn’t make Dean run any faster. He was falling behind though so he picked up his pace, Castiel now a couple of steps in front of him.

He suddenly felt himself losing his balance, stumbling on his feet and falling on his knees.

“Son of a BITCH!” he screamed in frustration as he was gracing himself up.

Castiel hurried back to him and helped him stand up, fingers wrapped around Dean’s forearm.

“Are you okay, Dean?” He looked genuinely worried, hair now sticking in every position.

Dean looked him up and down, eyes seeking every inch of Cas’ sweaty body, until they fixated on his eyes. “I’m… fine.”

Cas’ hand let go of Dean’s arm instead finding its way on his shoulder. They were staring at each other, almost having a stare off. Cas’ tongue suddenly drew out to wet his lips, Dean’s eyes following the motion. His whole body was telling him to close the small gap between them and lock their lips together but his mind was telling him otherwise. But Cas was so close Dean could practically feel the agent’s breathing on his own lips and he could swear it felt like Cas was leaning in, slowly but surely making that gap even smaller. Dean’s breathing was quickening with every second, heart flattering, butterflies in his stomach flying and shivers running through his whole body.

Dean’s hand somehow found its way on Cas’ t-shirt just above his abdomen, tugging slightly on it. He licked his lips slowly when he suddenly felt the heat of Cas’ full lips against his own. The touch soft and tender, blossoming against his skin. The hand that was on Dean’s shoulder was now on the side of his neck, fingers slightly pulling at the back of his hairs. The kiss was slow and steady, until Dean drew out his tongue for a permission to taste something more. Dean’s hand on the agent’s t-shirt hardening its grip, pulling him tighter, closer.

Cas opened his mouth and their tongues met, exploring each other. Dean’s heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest. If the initial kiss felt like a flower blossoming then this felt like a whole garden. Dean was now leaning against Cas, almost all of his weight bracing on his grip and Cas’ hand in his neck. When Cas finally broke the kiss to take a breath, Dean suddenly felt empty without the fullness of Cas’ tongue and the feel of his lips. They were both breathing heavily, catching their breaths, eyes closed. When they calmed down Cas’ fingers gripped Dean’s arm that was still holding onto his t-shirt and his blue, sparkly eyes met with Dean’s green ones.


End file.
